How to Write an Intimidating Villain
Hello everyone! During my posting hiatus, I’ve been reading a lot of short stories and snippets of books, not to mention writing articles, and I’ve discovered a bookish pet peeve of mine:
Childish villains.
What do I mean by this? These are villains who are meant to be old (from a few decades to a few centuries older than the protagonist), super powerful, ruthless, and feared by all in the land. And when the protagonist and their companions finally come face-to-face with them, it’s kind of… disappointing. The villain gets easily annoyed, talks like a teenager and, the very worst part, gets sassed by the main character.
Dialect
Something else I find extremely important is their dialect—which is how they actually talk. Are they well educated? What’s their social rank? Where did they grow up? Education levels, place in the hierarchy (this applies to both medieval and modern), and background all play a huge role in the way that somebody speaks. For example, if someone grew up in New York, chances are they’re going to have a pretty apparent accent. And the slang, too. The same goes with people who grew up in places such as London, Scotland, Australia, Russia… etcetera etcetera. My point is, their accent and first language is REALLY IMPORTANT!!
Education
Next, their education. If they’re well educated, they’ll be flaunting their knowledge, and this is apparent in the words they use. They might even say something and then dumb it down for the main character because they want to say, “Hey! I think you’re kinda stupid.” This is great! But please please please don’t overdo it. Your reader shouldn’t need to be switching between your novel and a thesaurus every time the antagonist enters a scene. The ‘fancy’ words you use should be translatable through context clues.
Also, if your villain had an average or below average education, that doesn’t mean they need to have terrible grammar. Please, please don’t do this. Nobody wants to read a book where the terrible and fearsome antagonist is speaking like a second grader. Also, it’s not that realistic. Their poor education should show through their poorly thought out plans (enter town, sneak into palace treasury, sneak out, use violence to fill in the gaps) and, if they ever write anything, they should have bad handwriting and grammar. But remember, just because somebody didn’t receive proper schooling doesn’t mean that they don’t know anything. Life will teach the antagonist (and anybody) just as much as eight to ten hours in a building will—though it will look different. (Note: well educated villains are typically scarier than poorly educated ones. Typically. Individuals will, undoubtedly, vary.)
Social Rank
Social rank is also a crucial detail to really nail down. This will affect their motives as well as their demeanor. If they’re already at the top of whatever government system is in their country, they’re likely evil because they’re corrupt and/or are looking to expand their power to other countries. (Fire nation, anyone?) If they’re a lower-class citizen, or even second in command, *cough, cough*, their motive might be to obtain power, or steal something. Or, if they’re evil due to circumstance, not choice, they might be trying to obtain a magical (or non-magical, depending on genre) item to save a loved one—or themselves. My point is, motives vary from character to character, but it should make sense to the villain, not only to the plot.
Personality
If you want to scare not only your characters, but your readers as well, the personality of your antagonist is so important. A sassy villain just isn’t intimidating. (Not to say that funny villains are bad—in fact, I love that archetype! But I’m writing about intimidating villains right now.) When you give your antagonist a strong sense of humor, you’re creating an appeal to your reader. They will like the villain. If you want your villain to be feared, leave the humor at the door. Nothing in scenes with your antagonist should be funny, because humor breaks that carefully crafted tension—and I know you don’t want that. A feared antagonist is manipulative, emotionless, cold, maybe a little creepy—and always one step ahead of the main character. The protagonist shouldn’t be able to make them visibly annoyed too easily, and they should, overall, be a very supposedly calm individual.
How the narrator affects the reader’s opinion
Whether you’re writing in first, second, or third perspective, the narrator heavily impacts the way the reader feels about any given situation and character. If the protagonist is excited about something, as long as you write it well, the reader tends to be excited about it too! The protagonist’s reaction has a um… a strong positive correlation with the reader’s reaction. (People who know anything about statistics, let’s all giggle conspiratorially together. People who don’t, surprise surprise, I’m a nerd.) This is an important factor to take into account because if you’re trying to craft the perfect intimidating, fear-inducing villain, it won’t matter how fleshed out their character is if the main character isn’t scared of them at all. Or, similarly, if the protagonist and other characters act scared of the villain for the entire book—until they actually meet them. Then, they have absolutely no fear. They sass the villain, make demands, and genuinely aren’t scared. I’m begging you, don’t ruin your story like this. That gorgeous tension you’ve worked so hard to create is destroyed by this Achilles heel in your narrative, and your readers will be taken out of the world you’ve pulled them into because A) the protagonist is acting completely Out of Character (OOC), B) the antagonist isn’t scary anymore, and C) how did they manage to wreak so much havoc if they’re so… lame? Why are people even afraid of them?
Just make sure to watch out for how your main character views and interacts with your antagonist.
Leave the Reader Curious
If you’re planning on revealing a tragic past for your villain, don’t do it all at once—and try to avoid having the villain share it on purpose. Let their past be revealed little by little, through mistakes that they make and people who turn on them and join the protagonist. Also an option, if they’re known by many people, it’s more than likely that there are tales of their childhood/past appearances that your characters will stumble upon. The trick is to sprinkle these scenes throughout the story so that it happens organically, and, as a bonus, your reader will actually want and wonder about the information as it comes.
Remember: I’m Just a Girl
Now that you’ve read my post, I have the responsibility to make sure you take everything I just said with a grain of salt. Creative writing is just that: creative. There’s no one formula for anything; antagonists included. There are all sorts of archetypes out there—I covered just one. Now, if you have chosen to write an intimidating villain specifically, I would strongly suggest taking this advice to heart. Not to toot my own horn, but it is really good advice. (And she’s humble, too. *insert eye roll*) But have fun with it! Work on perfecting your writing, and one day, you’ll find that you have advice of your own to share.
—Leah Larkspur
